Domestic Horror Stories #61 – Black Friday

“So this is what science gets us?” she asked.

“I admit, it is a little rough around the edges, but it fits every one of our specifications, right down to the side porch and the mature trees on the lot,” he said.

“It’s also a fifty thousand dollar home in a town where the median house price is well over twice that.   It’s a shack.”

“Yes, but it’s a possibility.  Sure it needs work, but it’s perfect except for that.”

She laughed.  “Except for that they have seven miles of mismatched paneling, low ceilings and a T shaped entry to the kitchen.”


“And we’re really not the do it yourself types.”

They fell silent for a moment.

“We’re going to have to make some compromises,” he said.

“Do you suppose they don’t know what humans are shaped like, or do you think someone who live here just had really wide shoulders?

“I think it’s meant to be decorative.”


Domestic Horror Stories #60 – More Scientific?

“Maybe we’re not going about this scientifically enough,” he said.

“Okay.  Can you elaborate on that?” she asked.

“Maybe we need a better list.  More specific.”


“Like we both think that 2000 square feet is too much, and that 900 square feet is too small, but what is the exact square footage we’re interested in?”

“We could make a list, and run it through the real estate site.  That could help,” she said.

Domestic Horror Stories #58 – Hooked on a Feeling

“I really like how this one feels,” she said.

“It’s small,” he said.

“It’s cozy.”

“That’s code for small.”

“We could make do.”

“Sure like we do at the apartment.  But the whole reason to buy a house is to have more room.”

“Granted.  It’s such a nice quite neighborhood.  And I love the side porch.  I could work out here.  Can’t you see us eating out here, and sitting out here to read under the trees?”

“We’d have to put a shed in the back for all our books.”

She sighed heavily.

“Let’s put a pin in this one, and move on.  If we find the right house, it will be easy enough to add a side porch,” he said.

Domestic Horror Stories #57 – Thoughts?

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“It’s the right size and the right price,” she said.


“They had a big dog that they kept inside a lot.  The wood floors are trashed.  It’s on a hill so there are a million steps up to the front door.  But the stairs from the garage to the kitchen aren’t bad.  Oh, and there’s a room of creepy dolls.  So it’s not showing well.  But if we got rid of all the dolls, we’d have a ton bookshelves.”

“Do you like it?”

“I could see us living there, but it’s not really what I would prefer.  I think it would you make you sad.”


“You can tell it was once a lovely Mid Century, but someone remodeled in the 80’s and took out all the original built ins.”

“I’m sad just thinking about it.”


Domestic Horror Stories #56 – Or Not So Alone

“Do you find dolls spooky?” she asked.

“Not individually.  No.  Puppets, now that’s a different story,” said the realtor.

“Normally, I don’t find dolls spooky either, but this room is setting off my creepy tingle.”

“On the upside, all that built in shelving would be great for books and things.”

“Just as long as we don’t have to take the dolls with the house.”

“Don’t worry.  If you want this one, we’ll write it into the contract.”

Domestic Horror Stories #55 – Alone

“We’re not waiting for him?”  asked the realtor.

“Nope.  He’s done in for a while.  I’m going to look at the next few myself,” she said.

“That makes sense.  I’m sorry that last inspection didn’t go better.”

“Actually, it went perfectly.  Better to know.”

“Okay.   So what are you thinking about this one?  Well within your price range.  Not too big.  Pretty shade of green siding.”

She looked up from the bottom of the steep hill that was the front lawn.  “I’m kind of hoping there’s a dump waiter in the garage.  Other wise grocery day is going to be hell.  What is that?  Like 500 steps up to the front door?”


She started to laugh.  “How many times have you shown this one?”

“Enough times that I’ve counted the stairs.”